Opus 3

I’ve talked before about the parallels that I share with other creative people. Today was a day for experiencing another one of those, it seems. Crystal, a musician far more diligent than I am, was on a break for a while, focusing on her life and her faith. And just when I was telling myself that the moment for me to end my break was coming, she wrote a post announcing her return! Hmm.

But back to writing and composing. In good news (for a change), I managed to make the final deadline for the Short Sounds Film Festival. ‘Into Winter‘ is officially in competition! Supposedly, they’ll get back to me by the 1st October, but I know how these things can get delayed (especially in the UK). We’ll see. I actually haven’t got my hopes up, and I fully expect to be rejected. My submission was intended as more of a learning experience.

As for the music I’ve been enjoying recently, my third piece is influenced by Celtic music, so in theory, I should have been listening to that genre – if I were a diligent composer. But instead, of course, I ended up listening to something else entirely: Christmas carols. There’s something about their melodies which is magical; I think carols have some of the most charming, memorable musical phrases in the world. They press all of my melody-loving buttons. There’s a lot to be learnt there.

My Witcher 3 addiction is far from over, too. Sometimes, I get caught up in powerful addictions which burn out and become nothing – I don’t think this is going to be one of those. I’m going to be listening to those dark, witching soundtracks for the rest of my life. Not that I’m complaining!

It feels as though I’ve spent a very long time away from this blog, but in reality, the duration of my absence was shorter than the 3 months between my first piece and my second, ‘Into Winter’. How strange – I could’ve sworn that it wasn’t so. Perhaps my third piece isn’t that tardy after all? Though I should still get a move on to prevent Opus 3 coming in 4 months after Opus 2.

Oh, and I got 2 new followers at about midnight – even when I hadn’t been writing here for weeks. I don’t know how that happened, but thank you, I suppose?

Opus 3

My rage is over. I’ve gotten a hold of myself. The final, no-chances-after-this deadline for the Short Sounds Film Festival is on Sunday, and I think I’ll be able to get the updated version of ‘Into Winter‘ done in time.

The past two weeks have arguably been the most difficult ones I’ve had all year – possibly in many years – and as per the usual way, my troubles had to arrive at the moment when they were least welcome. But since I wrote my bitter post on the 7th, I’m glad to say that I’ve been humbled.

It’s true that sometimes, the world places an unfair burden on my shoulders. It takes away my spare time, spends my money, and strains my patience and happiness. But I waste time. I know this better than anyone – I’ve talked about it often enough, about how lazy I am. And no matter how frustrated I feel with the rest of the world when it pesters me, deep down, I know that if I’d been more careful managing my hours before it started to pour, not rain, then my scarcity of time afterwards wouldn’t have impacted me so hard.

So productivity is like an emergency fund. If I spend my time wisely when I have plenty of it, I won’t have to worry about it when I’m short on it.

I used to think of my laziness as a quirky trait: ultimately harmless, especially outside of work and study. But that’s not a way of thinking I can afford anymore. If I put off creating, it means that I might not have enough time to create later, and when that happens, I know I’ll get angry. It turns out that there are only two ways of living life: with self-discipline or without it! You can’t escape needing a work ethic, not even when you’re doing things for pleasure.

Of course, none of this would matter if I didn’t care about music (or stories). But I do care, and that’s the only reason I’m doing this as a hobby in the first place, and that’s why I need to become industrious…

Opus 3

This will be a dark post. I’m in one of the rages that I get when the world tries to stop me from living my life. I’m doing chores, I’m going to places, I’m calling and emailing people to arrange things that need to be arranged. But that’s not my life. That’s just modern existence, and it doesn’t come anywhere close to how I want to live.

I want to create, and I want to enjoy books and music. I’m doing neither at the moment. It seems as though every time I clear up a petty task or duty, someone else comes along, banging his hand on my door, demanding attention. What makes these dumb twerps think they have the right to do this? They’ll never know how much I hate them for putting me through this misery. I hate them and hate them.

Why does everyone assume I have time? They come, asking for a half-hour, a few hours, maybe even a whole day. They say it like nothing, as though a day in my life was worth less than a forgotten penny on the pavement. ‘You won’t even spare a day to do this for me? What kind of citizen are you?’ And before I know it, the days have added up, and I find myself stuck in a dead end with no forseeable spare time for weeks ahead.

Times like this make me understand why some people are deeply uncharitable. Every time my life gets like this, I get dangerously close to turning off my smartphone and refusing to answer the doorbell, no matter what, until I’ve done all the things I want to do. Listen to me! I don’t want to do things for you and your opinions mean nothing to me. Your life means nothing to me. Leave me alone.

I’m terrified that I won’t be able to make the extended, and final, deadline for the Short Sounds Film Festival. I need to adjust the velocities of individual notes and mix the track. Then the revised version of ‘Into Winter‘ will be complete. I won’t submit the old version. I can hear that the newer one is better. I don’t want to settle for delivering less than what I know I can give.