The second composition is definitely different from the first. I’m not just talking about the final product but also the experience of composing. I feel much more relaxed than I did while making my first piece.
I mentioned that I have two passions, writing novels and composing, and that I chose to compose before writing because I was in a hurry to own something original. (Writing a novel takes a long time.)
Now that I’ve finished ‘Onwards‘ and am disillusioned with it, I no longer feel the need to rush. I’m more interested in exploring the possibilities to make something good than I am in creating for the sake of creating. I want to make sure that I’m enjoying the musical scenery on my composing journey.
I also don’t feel the need to impose a deadline on myself anymore. ‘Into Winter’ will be finished when I say it is. I really want to take my time with this one so that I can look back and say that I gave it my best effort. I don’t think I did that with ‘Onwards’; I was just trying to make it ‘good enough’, whatever that means.
I’d like to think that I won’t ever become disillusioned with ‘Into Winter’ as I did with ‘Onwards’. That’s probably hoping for too much, but if I really try my best, I might stay fond of ‘Into Winter’ for a long time after its completion.